Playing is the number one occupation for children. It is how they learn, explore the world, and occupy most of their time. As we grow into adults, the way we play changes and is often referred to as our interests or hobbies – tinkering on cars, reading, cooking or jigsaw puzzles. Play is important to all of us but how do adults play with children when our play looks so different? In this blog, I am going to share with you some top tips to relearn how to play like a kid, as an adult, to help build relationships with the young people in our lives.
Playing as an Adult – A Guide on How to Play as an Adult
Playing is the number one occupation for children, but sometimes as adults we have forgotten how to engage via play. This blog provides real life strategies and ideas to engage with the young people in your life.
1. Get down on their level – To a small child, an adult can look huge and towers over them. Can you imagine someone double your height looking down at you? It can be difficult for them to see your face and even when you are looking down to them that can look a bit scary. Get on their level! Whether that is on the ground, on the couch, in the cubby, when your eyes are on the same level it is easier to communicate and for them to connect with you.
2. Listen – Children usually know what they want to do and like to tell us! We just need to listen and say “ok”! Most four- to five-year-old’s have great ideas, imaginations and most likely can approach adults asking them to play. Try saying “yes” and just see what they have in store. They probably have a place picked out for you to sit and everything!
3. React – Be interested in what they are showing you and telling you. Be responsive to how they are feeling and exaggerate your emotions. Children, and adults, are constantly learning about their emotions and trying to organise them. They often do this when they are playing, it is a great opportunity for them to practise using them! If they are showing you something they love, show them how excited you are to see it or how precious it is by being super careful when touching it. If they are showing you something that has broken or a teddy that needs to go to hospital, show them your concern and then solve the problem together. Take teddy to the hospital and make him feel better or reassure the child that it is ok if the toy is broken, that happens sometimes, but I wonder if we can try and fix it? Get your pretend, or real, tools out depending on the child’s age and explore together.
4. Follow their lead – You have probably heard this term but what does it mean and how do you do it? Basically, do what they do! Kids generally think adults are interesting and want our attention and when we give it fully it can show them that they are seen and important. When we act like them it can be reassuring, cementing when learning new skills and exciting! Following a child’s lead helps with building relationships through trust and bonding. Here are a few simple examples to get you started: When a baby makes noises or babbles mimic the noise back to them. Similarly, with their facial expressions or movements, if they throw their hands above their head, do the same. If a toddler is banging the floor, drum along with them. Try changing it slightly to see if they follow you back, such as banging on the couch or with two hands at once to make a louder noise and then a quieter noise again. Join in on their make-believe play, follow their story line and get invested, it is more fun that way. If they want to play mums and dads or find African safari animals in the garden, just go along with it. Point out the huge elephant behind the tree and go pet it or the tiger sleeping on the table and hide from it.
As an OT working in paediatrics, it is important that we engage with our clients in a way that is meaningful to them. Therefore, most of, if not all our therapy is done through play. This is a skill that we have learnt and practice daily to help our clients develop their skills and achieve their goals, often without realising it.
So, next time you are asked to come play, try saying yes! The connection that it can create is amazing, and it will make your child, niece, nephew, little cousin, friends’ kids, think you are cool.
Gabbard, C., 2012. Lifelong Motor Development. 6th ed. San Francisco: Pearson-Benjamin Cummings.
Lynch, H. and Moore, A., 2016. Play as an occupation in occupational therapy. British Journal of Occupational Therapy. 79(9), pp.519-520.
Peterson, C., 2003. Looking Forward Through The Lifespan. 5th ed. Frenchs Forest, N.S.W.: Prentice Hall.